November 14, 2015 Christmas Lonliness
Yestererday I woke up in a really great space. I had absoutely no pain in my body due to my wonderful Chriopractor and his team, , and my first thought was"What was I going to do today, rather than how was I going to do what I needed to do today. It was a beautiful day, and I was looking forward to meeting with colleagues which I always enjoy. I dressed carefully, played with my dog , and got on my way.
Later in the day - and I will spare you of the journey of how I got there, I tried to make some very simple and free Christmas plans for the next month.
Other people started that Christmas is too complicated, and that this was really too much. (Remember I said simple and free!). Everyone else started about how Christmas is so much work, so stressful. As they complained about their very large families, howe much work it was, I began to think about my very small family, and how fragile and difficult it all was. I have been working very hard, apart from this time, to accept and not be scared in the lonliness of it.
I became what I thought was very unreasonably triggered and down, and stayed that way all that day and into the next. I remember the Christmas two years ago when i spent the day by myself. I felt dread of going into Christmas, and the inevitable sadness and loneliness that I feel.
So you may be surprised to see me write that I still love Christmas. I love the spirituality of it, and the beauty of it. I will miss my old neighbor who started decorating her yard Oct. 1st of every year. She was the official "Mrs. Santa Claus" and had every conceivable decoration in her yard, on the house and roof, and the inside was wall to Wall decorations. We had a gigantic neighborhood party every year in my front yard, in anticipation of Mrs. Santa Claua lighting her house. My husband and I stuffed mailboxes every year for a two mile perimeter, famllies were invted and asked to bring canned goods for the NH Food BAnk.
My neighbor rented a "Santa Claus" and she wore her Mrs. Santa Claus outfit for all the neighborhood children. All of her family members had costumes. As friends and strangers gathered we would count down and she would light her house. Our first year, Channel Nine news did a little story on us, and yes, that was me dressed as a snowman.
I am amazed that people don't realize that a little effort can bring someone a huge amount of comfort. My clients need to see a small light in the window. One year someone stopped and told my husband and I that our lit Christmas Tree which is not our habit to turn off until it was taken down, gave them so much comfor5t evry night as they went off to their third shift job, and they had to leave their family. It gave them comfort from missing their family on the way to work, and peacefulness on the way home.
From that Christmas Season forward, the tree was up and lit, and stayed lit. My neighbors house and my house spoke back and forth to each other - one very Simplistic and Elegant, the other swaying with lights, decorations and talking Santas. You stood in the middle, and something peaceful and joyful just entered your soul, and spoke to the souls of the people who went past.
Remember to put a light in your window, your soul and to tend to your realationships this Christmas season. Somebody out there needs you.